


Live Your Life

by themagicepisode



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Brotherly Love, Coming Out, Explicit Language, Friendship/Love, M/M, Post-Season/Series 03, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 16:16:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19704934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themagicepisode/pseuds/themagicepisode
Summary: Based on the sound of the song "Cruel World" by Active Child. The small story of how Billy Hargrove helped Steve Harrington find himself.





	Live Your Life

The small story of how Billy Hargrove helped Steve Harrington find himself.

T H E / B E F O R E

It’s a gloomy day in the small town of Hawkins. The sun is playing hide and go seek, the rain is playing peek-a-boo, and the day has been so long that it’s like the moon is refusing to come out and play. But it was the day his parents chose.

“I swear I’ve been around the whole world. No one will hire me!” Steve complains with one hand on the steering wheel and the other combing through his hair. “Really? Hawkins is what you consider ‘the whole world’?” He rolls his eyes at Dustin’s smart-ass comment. “C’mon, you’re like a genius and yet you don’t understand what exaggeration is?” 

“One, it would be ‘hyperbole’. And two, genius is a big word.” Steve’s eyes light up as he takes his chance. “Ha ha! It actually isn’t. Big words are determined based on how much they’re commonly used, and its connection to the base meaning. Henceforth, ‘intellectual’ would be considered a big word while ‘genius’ is not. I win!” Steve has a smug look on his face, proud of the way he finally outsmarted his little friend.

Dustin objects. “No, you don’t win! I didn’t mean it literally!” He doesn’t say anything. The smug face stays while he waits for him to figure out what just happened. “Mhm, yep. Just like I wasn’t being literal. You set yourself up, Dusty.” The friend takes his hat off of his head and puts it over his heart. “Holy shit, I just got Dustinned.”

They pulled into the mall parking lot and parked as close as they could, as there was a heavy rain in the forecast. Steve had been looking for jobs all day, and he brought Dustin along for the support. It’s amazing how far just a pat on the back can go. 

The two boys walked through the mall, window shopping and pointing out the prettiest girls. According to Dustin, he had to make sure Steve was okay before he headed off to camp. Of course the relationship with Nancy was long gone, but just because he accepted it doesn’t mean his heart has. It takes time.

After a little more looking, they headed to Scoops Ahoy for Dustin’s “reward.” While he tried all of the different flavors, Steve looked around the shop. It was new to town, and when you lose all of your friends and the girl of your dreams -- you don’t really go to the ice cream shop alone. He had Dustin, but even he had three friends that came before him.

You could say that he was lonely. Feeling a little left behind. He had gone to the park for a run one day, and he noticed a teddy bear sitting by the bench. Its eye was hanging by a thread, and he could tell that it had been roughed up by the weather. After that, it was hard to convince himself that that’s not how people view him.

He suddenly didn’t want to run anymore. Tears flowed down his cheeks as he sat the teddy bear in the passenger seat. Maybe the worst part was that it was nobody else’s fault. He shouldn’t have had asshole friends in the first place, and he shouldn’t have been one. But it was okay, he was going to be okay. When he got home that night, his eyes were bloodshot red. They were puffy, and there was nothing he could do. 

His father confronted him, thinking that it had to be marijuana or some other kind of drug. But no, Dad, this was pure sadness and regret. Something that life simply won’t fix on its own. So, in his room that night - he made a promise. It was time to change, and time to move on. There was no more King Steve, no more entourages, no more admirers. It was just Steve Harrington and the quest to become a better person.

He walked to the other end of the counter and glared at the “Help Wanted” sign behind the worker’s head. She smiled as she watched him go back and forth in his mind. “Can I help you?” She asked while motioning back to the sign. “Um, yeah, yeah. Can I get an application?” 

After making a “pshhh” noise with her mouth, she stood up straight and began to ask him questions. “What’s your name?” “Steve.” She leaned forward, telling him to say more. “Oh, Steve, Steve Harrington.” “How old are you, Steve?” “I am....18. I’ll be 19 really soon.”  
“What are your talents?” “Um, I can whistle, like really good. I’m outgoing. I can bring in more girls,” he leans in and whispers. “And guys. I don’t discriminate.”

She pretends to do a calculation in the air. He bites his lower lip as she keeps him waiting. After seven never-ending seconds, she laughs and smiles at him. “Congratulations, you start Monday. I’m your coworker, Robin, and it’s nice to meet you.” He greeted her back before running to pick Dustin up and twirl him around. “I got the job!”

As they did their handshake and danced around to “Lookout Weekend” by Debbie Deb, Robin and the manager watched them with wide eyes. “I’ve never seen someone so happy to work at an ice cream shop,” Mr. Contreras spoke. “I might just hand him Employee of the Month right now.”

T H E / H O W

Steve woke up and he could feel the heat coming through his window and curtains. He sighed before kicking his alarm clock off of the stand, a glass of water falling along with it. “Shit. Shit.” He quickly rolled out of bed and attempted to dry the device off with his comforter.

But he couldn’t worry about that. He was already ten minutes late, and Robin is insufferable when she has to open, or close, by herself. He ran to the bathroom and freshened up, lifting his head up to see if he finally had any hairs growing on his chin. Robin would always tease him about how all of the hair is on his head. Hey, at least it’s pretty though.

He jogs to his closet and stares the ridiculous uniform straight in its red and white stripes. He grabs it from the hanger and puts it on while cursing it. After he looks in the mirror to make sure he’s set, he walks down the stairs, grabbing his key off of the peg and taking an apple for breakfast.

“Be careful!” His Mom calls after him as he hops in the car. He turned the music up loud and drove down the road with his hair blowing in the wind. He and Robin had gotten really close, and the job kept him busy while he waited for Dustin’s return. Life wasn’t perfect, but it was fine.

“Where the hell have you been?” She asks as he finally walks behind the counter. “Sorry, I woke up late. Forgive me, okay?” “Mhm, I’ll forgive you when you get those sticks through the waffle for the USS Butterscotch.” He yawns loudly before doing just that.

The day went on, and he continued to be the happy, entertaining employee that he is. When Robin hit rough patches with the kids, he often stepped in and fixed the situation. But he wished Robin could step in when the next person walked in.

Steve looked up from the ice cream and saw the one and only Billy Hargrove walk in. His heart skipped a beat, and it was like his chest was tightening. Robin watched as the whole scene unfolded. You shouldn’t say that Steve is terrified of Billy, but Steve is terrified of Billy.

Ever since he beat him to a pulp last year, he’s kept his distance. Even steering away from the community pool. He didn’t know Billy’s bounds, and he didn’t want to be the first person to be drowned by the lifeguard himself.

Lucky for him, Robin did step in. “Welcome to Scoops Ahoy! How can I help you today?” He spoke, but Steve couldn’t hear anything. Too bad they were talking to him. “Steve.” “Steve.” “Steve!” He woke up from his daydream and looked at both of them with wide eyes. “Yes?”

Billy spoke to the wide-eyed boy in front of him. “You know those kids.” He shrugged. “What kind of ice cream should I get?” I do know those kids. The same ones you tried to attack. “Uh, I’d say just get a tub of regular vanilla, but take the nuts and syrups separate just in case. T-they tend to be indecisive.” I swear he could slap himself right now. Did he really just stutter?

“Okay. I’ll take that.” He crossed his arms and looked out at the rest of the mall before turning back to them. He rolls his eyes, “Are you going to pack it up for me or not?” “Oh!” They both turn around and do their jobs. Steve making sure to pack extra waffle cones for Eleven. Robin gets his money while Steve wraps the treats into a bag. “Here you go.”

He takes a deep breath as Billy winks at Robin and walks away. “See you around, Harrington.” 

That was Billy’s first visit of many. Steve didn’t really see him as an ice cream guy, but money is money. And money was money until the one night Robin had went home early. He had just let the kids sneak through the door and into a late Rated-R movie after closing, but before he could lower the gate, his old enemy walked in.

He stopped mopping and looked up at him. Steve was a year older than Billy. But he wasn’t stronger, taller, or braver than his counterpart. He had to tread lightly, but inform him. “Hey dude, we’re closed. Or are you here for Max?” “For Max? She’s at El’s house tonight.” “N.. right. You are so right. El’s, got it.” 

Steve went back to mopping, but then he stopped. “So what do you need?” Billy sits down in one of the chairs, his earring swaying. “I think it’s about what you need, Harrington. One million thoughts sped through his head. Do I need to be punched? Do I need a burger? Do I need to run?

He breathed out and turned around to face him. “What do I need?” “A friend.” What? But, regardless, he couldn’t say that it was a lie. “Damn, is it that obvious?” Billy shakes his head. “No, but I heard Max and your little friends talking about it.” “It’s ridiculous, Steve. They can’t even get into an R-rated movie legally and they’re who you have to vent to.”

“You said I need friends, I have a friend...kinda.” Billy laughs. “Coworkers don’t count. Plus with Jonathan, it’s kind of hard to vent to someone who’s motorboating your ex-girlfriend.”

Harrington props the mop against the counter and walks to sit in front of Billy. He opens one of the candies he kept in his pocket and popped it in. “I don’t vent.” He swishes the disk around his mouth before Billy says, “That’s your problem.”

“My problem? I don’t have a problem.” His eyes squint and his lip curls up. “I know these things. I can tell just from looking at your back.” “You’ve been… looking at my back?” “Is that a problem?” Steve looks to the ceiling then back down. “I’m gonna say yes.”

“It isn’t my fault you’re so tense.” He loosens his shoulders and pops his back. Okay, he is tense. “Okay you have skills and all, but what does all of this do now?” “Working out is one of the greatest stress relievers. You get that, and a friend. Boom.” It sounded a lot like he wanted to be his friend, but Steve didn’t dare point that out.

He just agreed and they traded numbers and the place they’ll meet up. But it didn’t end there. Billy ended up with free ice cream, and they talked about absolutely nothing for hours. They liked it though, so much that they didn’t even notice the kids walk back through the doors. They all looked at each other confused as they watched the two boys laugh together.

They crawled over and under the counter while Max spoke. “Well, one used to be an ass. One is a super ass. I take it they have something in common there.”

T H E / W H A T

Around 11 o’clock one night, Steve was in his bed staring at the ceiling. He would occasionally eat another piece of chocolate or throw his basketball up to the heavens. But he got bored, and he didn’t want a toothache. He sprung up and started going through his dresser.

His new friend’s voice rang through his ears. “That’s your problem.” It was no lie. He needed to vent, and he needed it bad. There was a lot on his mind, and Dustin was probably sleeping at this hour. He found the napkin with Billy’s number on it and practically ran to the phone. He dialed the number and put it to his ear. Praying that his parents were sleeping and not listening on the other end.

The other side picked up, and he heard Maxine’s voice. “Hello?” “Oh, hey, this is Steve. And um, is Billy in right now?” “He’s in his room, do you want me to get him for you?” He took a deep breath before answering. What the hell was he doing?

“Yep,” he nodded. “That would be great.” She called her brother to the phone, and he cursed her at first before realizing she said Steve was on the other end. He got up from his chair and walked to the kitchen, putting the phone to his ear and his hand against the wall.

“Steve?” He asked while chewing his gum. “Yeah, it’s me. I know it’s late, but I just need someone to talk to.” Billy chuckles. “Well, phone bills suck, so how about you come pick me up? I would meet you, but uh-” He looks around to see if Max is gone. “I may be a bad person, but I don’t drink and drive.”

Thank the heavens. “Of course, just give me um, twenty minutes.” “Twenty minutes. See you then.” “Bye.” He hung up and began to smile like a teenage girl who just got off the phone with her crush. Something he was just on the opposite side of not too long ago.

He freshened up and checked himself out in the mirror. He didn’t quite understand why, because he was just going to talk to a friend. A… friend. This was a sneaky job, so he made sure to leave a note on his bed just in case his folks woke up. He was 19, but age doesn’t matter in this crazy town.

Before walking out of the door, he looked over at the couch. That same teddy bear was sitting on it, and his Mom had repaired his eye, and even knitted him a new sweater. Green - the same color as Steve’s favorite. He looked down at his sneakers and smiled to himself, silently letting a tear slip from his eye. He was being repaired.

Steve Harrington showed up to Billy Hargrove’s door, and he was happy to let him in. That was a sentence no one ever thought was possible. They walked back to his room and Billy closed the door behind him, using a rolling chair as his lock. His friend sat down in the stable as Billy rested on his bed.

Just as they should, they laughed first, then began to talk. They both agreed that one would talk first and then the other would go. A bottle cap made the decision that Steve would go first. 

“I feel like… life is… better. But I don't think it happened out of nowhere. I had to fix myself. To really change some ways. It was hard… as hell. But all I can think about is the way that I made others feel. This hell, this shit, I spewed it out for years. And for what? To be cool? To generate fear. I was so horrible.” He shakes his head as his hands get sweaty.

“Who was I? You know? I partied every goddamn day… I hate parties. I had so many girls and so much sex.” He tugs at his own hair. “I don’t even like g-” He stops himself. This was news to him? His heart was beating fast and his eyes started to water. He doesn’t like what?

Billy didn’t say much. He just looked at his own feet and tried to hide his face. Why? Because he knows he’s in the same boat. But boys like him don’t get to live freedoms like that. They aren’t soft and “pussies”, they’re men who beat other men up and sleep with other men’s wives.  
That’s who he was taught to be. Even if he didn’t want to. But in this moment, his friend needed him. And so he spoke his truth.

“I’m a bully. Shit, Steve, I even bullied you - from the moment I met you. I scream, I yell, and I act so tough, but I don’t do it for myself. I don’t run until I bleed through my shirt for my enjoyment. It’s all for show.” He looks over at Steve’s wet face. “I’m only who I am now, because I wasn’t allowed to be who I was when I was younger.”

“But you have a chance, Steve. It’s not acceptable now, I get it. One day it may be, and I hope to grow old enough to see it. It’s a cruel world. But who cares if it’s acceptable, live your life. Live your goddamn life. You have to live it.” Billy had tears of his own now.

Steve walked over from his chair, and sat next to Billy on the bed. He ran his thumb over his cheek before wiping the tears coming directly from his eyes. He kissed his cheek first, but Billy turned his face. He turned it and before he knew it, his lips were on his.

They didn’t know if it was adrenaline, or love - for what it's worth. But why should it matter? For the first time in forever, they were where they wanted to be. With their lips on one another’s and with premature fireworks sounding off in the distance. 

Stranger things happened that night, things that neither would probably ever speak of again. And it usually takes some time to regret something, but they knew the truth when they never did. They knew. 

T H E / A F T E R M A T H

It had only been three months since the craziness happened once again in the small town of Hawkins. The Fourth of July was now but a memory of pain, and also triumph. El and The Byers’ had moved, so things were changing. But for the first time, they were changing for the better.

Those remaining in Hawkins were together all the time. Whether it be cookouts, holidays, or just hiding from the sun and the rain. They were around. 

Steve drove Dustin to the Movie Store he worked at so he could find the film Suzie had recommended. His friend was singing along to the radio now, but Steve had something to say. He took a few deep breaths, and he thought about something.

‘Live your goddamn life.’ A special voice rang through his head. It reminds him of someone special. His blond-haired, earring wearing, bully of a friend. He laughs before adjusting the radio. Dustin stays quiet, because he always knows that means it’s time to talk.

“I have to tell you something.” “Holy shit balls Steve. Don’t tell me you and Nancy are back together again.” Steve’s eyes go wide. “No! No. Very much the opposite.” He can see the passenger trying to figure it own in his own head. Steve just laughs and shakes his in disbelief, that boy really always has to be right.

He starts. “I don’t know how to say this. I don’t even know if you’re old enough to hear this-” “You got someone pregnant?!” He rolls his eyes. “No, Dustin. Please listen?” “Fine.” He mumbles and sits back in his seat. 

“You’ve been an incredible friend over these last few years, and I cannot stress it enough. I’ve talked to you about any and everything. Uh, and it’s crazy how so much love, knowledge, and understanding can fit in someone so small.” Dustin begins to smile. “And I can only hope that you will continue to be there after I tell you this. Over the summer, before the craziness began - I befriended Billy Hargrove. And even though I know how it sounds, he helped me realize some pretty important things.”

“I’m… I like… I….” He struggles to speak his truth. “I lean towards men, Dustin. And I, I hope you can see through that.”

It’s quiet for a minute, then Dustin clears his throat. “Steve. I play games with witches, warlocks, unicorns, and I’m a geek for supernatural movies and figures. You’re weird, yeah, but weird is my thing.” Steve takes a huge breath of relief and earns laughter from his friend. “Now pull over so we can do the handshake!”

He did exactly that, and they jumped out and did it - sound effects and all. But while laughing smiling, and walking back to his side, all he could think about was one thing. “.....it’s not acceptable now, I get it. One day it may be, and I hope to grow old enough to see it. It’s a cruel world. But who cares if it’s acceptable, live your life. Live your goddamn life…...”

Steve Harrington looked up at the sky, and he sent a smile to Billy Hargrove. “I’m living it. I’m living my goddamn life. And I’m gonna do it for the both of us.”


End file.
